I could try to tell you stories about my mother's childhood based on stories she's told me, but I might insert childish interpretations based on the age at which I was told. There are some stories that I don't even know about, as evidenced by a late 1990's visit by my Aunt Sheila to our house in Tillamook in which Aunt Sheila started to tell us a story about my mother in high school but was interrupted by my panicked mother who shouted "Sheila, don't you dare!" Sheila laughed hysterically, but did NOT continue the story. Anyone who knows my mother in real life can only imagine what situations her ultra social butterfly personality and hippie tendencies threw her into as a teenager in the late 60's and early seventies. And I also know that her experience with Iowa extremes in weather helped to form her crazy need to stay in 50-70 degree weather that makes the Oregon coast ideal for her.
What I can tell you is that my mother has been my champion in countless situations. There have been so many times during my life when she could have jumped all over me with judgment, criticism, and an I-told-you-so that would have been well deserved. But I don't remember a time like that in my life. I remember such an opportunity when I told her about the nature of an abusive relationship I had gotten out of a few months before...no judgment, no condemnation, no disappointment...only heartache at the hurt I'd been caused.
When life has dealt me a sometimes tragic hand, like during the worst of my marital crisis, the diagnosis of my boys with autism, the complicated surgery of my middle child, the financial upheaval of my family...she has never offered unsolicited advice, but simply helped me get through. I remember the day I found out the worst news of my life. She was in Tillamook and I was in Olympia, and she wrote, "Though I am not dad, I love you just as much as he did. And though my embrace is not the same, I am here for you and I care deeply. I love you Steph. You are beautiful and special and I'm proud to be your mom." In a way, I think my dad's death gave God the opportunity to work through her and to develop closer relationships with us girls, because dad had had that role with us before his passing. And I know that her own experiences with tragedy have given her wise words to say without saying too much.
When she first heard that God had told us to move to San Antonio, she didn't freak out but told us to keep praying about it. Once it became a reality she started looking up everything she could about the area. She helped us to financially prepare for the move, and prayed, prayed, prayed that jobs would line up. The week before we moved, she came and helped us pack. The morning I received the call from Alamo Heights, she was the reason I called back and took the interview. And of course, that was a HUGE part of God's plan. And she covers over half of Andrew's tuition every month...which shows just how much she believes in what God has called us to do down here.
Our relationship can sometimes be a quirky one, but we're pretty quirky gals. I remember making so much more sense to my husband's family after playing several card games with them and my mom. We're a competitive lot. Her (dyed) red hair is a fitting crown, and her hippie/blinged out fashion sense perfectly describes her...Indescribable. :) She has to visit us in the late fall because the summer makes her cranky, and when she comes she showers the kids with chocolate Donettes and frequent outings because she has NEVER been able to sit still. Our meal times are much more precisely planned, and usually include at least one Pizza Hut dinner made of thin-crust pepperoni pizza so that she can relive her college diet. She starts to get stir crazy at the end of the visit and almost always leaves a day in advance, but if you watch the speed at which she walks it makes sense why.
And she has always, always been one to visit the old, the sick, and the invalid. God gave her a gift of ministry for them, and she has never, despite having twins, a son, and sometimes being poor, shirked this ministry.
We are so opposite in personality that sometimes our lifestyles drive the other crazy, but our visits are fun, our phone calls (usually) frequent, and I KNOW she's in my corner, even if she's hungry, or too hot, or tired. And for that, I am very, very grateful that God gave her to me as my mother.
