Tomorrow, Luke will turn two. The is D-day for us, the day I've been dreading since our ultrasound told us we were having a boy. That same day, an article was published with new stats on autism...and the scariest stat was the one that confirmed that a child with two siblings who had autism (particularly those who were boys) had a 1 in 3 chance of developing autism.
But Luke doesn't have it. He points. He talks. He plays with toys appropriately. He interacts normally with other children. He names people easily. He eats food normally. He sleeps normally. He throws tantrums...normally.
I remember when people would tell me, "Well, what is normal, really? There's no such thing as NORMAL." I know you're trying to be PC, but believe me, no parent of a special needs child would deny that there is, vaguely of course, "normal." The gut feeling that they get when they see their "quirky" child do (or not do) things that seemingly all the other children the same age as their child are not (or are) doing tells them so and only gets more extreme as the gap does as well.
And Luke is, for all intents and purposes, NORMAL. He loves trucks and cars. He loves wrestling (which is particularly upsetting to Jeffrey). He loves creating chaos (as opposed to finding even peaceful settings chaotic and worth avoiding). He accepts snuggling, but does not seek it out constantly. He already can follow verbal directions better than Jeffrey.
He WANTS to be independent. Andrew and Jeffrey would probably still be totally okay with me dressing them everyday, and there are some days when I still have to. Luke gets mad when I try to and grabs the clothes away from me so that he can do it.
Luke calls me Mommy. And has for a long time.
This is what I prayed for. This is what I wanted. This is what I cried for when I held my newborn Luke in my arms. I remember covering Luke with my tears as I whispered my dreams of him becoming a doctor so that he could help his brothers. And even if he doesn't do so, the difference of me knowing at his two year old birthday that he COULD is so very different than either of his brother's two year old birthdays.
Kadee Joy is doing great, Chris is doing well at his job, I feel like I'm doing well at my job, Luke is right where he should be...but Jeffrey is falling apart at school and Andrew's school is having a monumental battle with our insurance company that is threatening Andrew even being able to attend. Both of our vehicles went out of commission at the same time resulting in us having to buy a van with financing, instead of just paying cash (first time doing that), we have some big illnesses in our extended family...
In other words...life is life. God has granted us a lot...some things that are easy, and some things that are very, very hard. The ironic thing is that the things that I probably would have thought to be the most difficult from an objective stand point have been the most wonderful and beautifully growing part of my walk...and those things that I thought I KNEW I wanted have turned out to be the areas I need the most help in.
Speaking of which...I think I mentioned Luke turns two tomorrow.
God be with us. :)
