I generally don't take New Year's resolutions very seriously. In fact, I usually just randomly come up with something if someone happens to ask on New Year's Eve.
This year is different. I feel God calling me to wage war against a particular sin in my life. A deadly sin. The sin of sloth.
I had a vague understanding of sloth when I felt God calling me to fight it. I think the main definition that came to mind was "laziness." In reading more about it, I find that it's bigger than that...It's a failure to do the things that one should do. It's a failure to use one's talents and gifts. And most importantly, it's a CHOICE to fail in those things.
I've had several years of sloth/laziness now. Or maybe it's been a lifelong struggle. I'm not sure. But this past year it has been destructive to my health, my family, and my faith.
If given a choice of activities, I will almost always choose sleep (if it's an option). It could be a lingering effect of depression, which is what my doctor thinks. Or it could be a result of the low, low, low, low, low amount of time I spend exercising. My body feels like a physical example of sloth. This results in my kids eating quickly made food at the last minute, homework being swiftly signed at the last minute, more TV time than I know is healthy for me, dishes and laundry piling up, and very little energy to put into caring for my husband. But I've come to be convicted of the fact that my sloth is my choice. And I have chosen it over the people and things I love for too long.
Chris feels the brunt of this sin. And he has for a while now. He picks up the pieces that I leave behind as I lay down for yet another nap, or as I go to bed hours before he and the kids are ready to. He sees what I put into my work (which is actually a lot) and compares it to what I put into my home. And the difference is sad.
The real big problem is the problem of spiritual sloth. It's hard to listen to God or to read His Word if you're constantly in a state of either being asleep or wishing you were asleep. As my physical sloth has increased, so has my spiritual sloth. And my spiritual sloth feeds into my feeling of overwhelming fatigue.
So this year, starting this morning as I heard Luke calling for me, I choose to ask God to help me wage a war against the sin that is most destructive in my life. I ask for your prayers in this battle. The virtue meant to fight sloth is diligence. So I ask that you pray for me to have and to use diligence. In all things. All the time. But especially as regards my faith and my family. God deserves much better from me. So does my family. And so do I.
"...but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint."
-Isaiah 40:31
