Midnight Musings

So first of all, let me just say that I reserve the right to pull this blog immediately upon posting it. It's not even midnight...it's 3:14 am as I begin to write this. If your wondering what a full-time teaching mother of three is doing writing a blog at this time in the morning instead of sleeping, don't worry, I'm sure I will be wondering the same thing when the real morning hits. But for now...I write.

I had some friends over last night, and one of the friends asked me, "So....what do you foresee for Andrew when he's, say, twenty?"

I didn't take a lot of time to think. I've thought a lot about it before. "Oh, he'll probably still be living with us."

She seemed a little shocked by this. So I explained. "Of course, the ultimate goal is to have Andrew be as independent as possible. And there are many places out there for people to live semi-independently who have disabilities and disorders of all kinds...and that is what we would hope for him. But Chris and I have always prepared ourselves for the very real possibility that he will live with us for the rest of his/our lives." But I went on to say that we really didn't know what Andrew would be capable of in two years, yet alone twenty.

As I was lying in bed tonight/this morning though...I started to think of the even more true reality that really NONE of us know what life will be like in twenty years. Our economy is crumbling, literally in front of our eyes. Hundreds of newly built subdivisions are as populated as ghost towns. Stores are closing. There are few industries who are not cutting jobs, and even fewer who are actually hiring more.

The way of life that I remember best is one of instant gratification on every front. And I am not immune to that lifestyle. My addiction to Starbucks is my best proof of that. I wonder if in twenty years I will scoff at the thought of paying so much money for what in reality is so little and unnecessary. Boredom and idleness are our nations' current epidemics. For much of America, myself included, the search for and time spent on entertainment far outweighs the amount of time serving those in need.

My sister and I were discussing the state of the economy last night, and particularly the houses that stand empty. She said something that intrigued me. "I wonder if we will look back on the rows of empty, lavish houses, and see them as monuments to our own greed." I think we will. My sister lives in a two bedroom attic apartment with her two sons and husband. Vancouver BC prices on gas, meat, milk, and of course housing are far higher than those even in places like Seattle, so they have lived with far more frugality than my family has. I know that she oftentimes feels like hitting people down here when they sigh at the lack of room they have in their 3 bedroom, two bath houses with a living room, full kitchen, and at least a dining room. She pays the same for rent as I pay for my mortgage, and I have a four bedroom, two bath house. And it's not because they're not careful with their money...The most basic of houses in Vancouver starts at around $500,000. And they're both pastors in a fairly small church...good luck. :)

But I envy her in many ways. She is content with her life, and if major changes are coming, there will be little she has to do to change her lifestyle.

I compare what I will have to do with those in the South before the civil war. They lived a lifestyle that was simply unsustainable. Only theirs was built on slave labor...mine is built on my dependency on being able to get what I want, when I want it, and to go where I want to go, no matter how far, when I want to go. Their still standing plantation mansions are their monument to times long past. I think ours will be our subdivisions, our empty malls, our Starbucks on every corner, our gas stations that no longer have anything to sell.

I realize that this sounds somewhat fatalistic. But I believe that if this change is coming, it is one that was inevitable, and one that will probably help us all to live the way Christ intended us to all along.