The Rudder of a Ship

Anyone else been having trouble with their mouths lately? Mine has been sailing me into rough waters. With the same mouth that tells my husband I love him, I also manage to tell him hundreds of little, tiny criticisms or complaints that just steadily steer me into storms.

If you know Chris Tiner at all, you probably know many of his strengths. If not, let me tell you about them. ;)

I first met Chris at NNU, although he first saw me before he ever became a student there. He was the loudest, most talkative person I had ever met. I stood next to him in Northwesterners, and I had no idea what to do with him. He would poke me in the ribs all the time, and as most of you probably know, the man has no bubble. I think the poking was a physical attempt to pop my very large personal space bubble.

One of the things that amazes me so much about my husband is his perserverance. Once he finds something he wants, he pursues it wholeheartedly. I found myself on the receiving end of this pursuit once he decided that I was the one for him. At one of our rehearsals, he asked me out nine times. And I said no every single time except for the last when, out of exasperation, I realized it would be the only way to get him to stop. Did I secretly love the pursuit? Of course. :)

He didn't make it to the first date before finding a different way into my heart. He came over to "study" with my sister for a religion class they were taking, but they never got there. He'd brought his guitar and played for me instead. After that, we were inseperable. Apparently we shocked the campus with the mixture of our personalities. It's funny to me now that Chris and I were such an odd pair. I mean, we still are in a lot of ways, but now I can't imagine my life without him.

Chris is an extremely talented man, and I got a recent reminder of that. I was at a ladies night out at my church doing one of the season's many gift exchanges when all of a sudden "Silent Night" broke into the air. Listening, I honestly thought it was a recording. But, oh no...it was my husband with his quartet. He came in with his folder in hand and sang in his beautiful bass voice. While he was singing, I beamed with pride (I think I beam?), and was amazed that this man was my husband, and that I actually got to take him home with me.

He leads worship at our church, and uses his gifts of music and words wonderfully well. Getting people comfortable around me is not easy...for Chris it is as natural as breathing. He has such a wonderful way of finding things in common with other people, and with humor gets them to feel welcome. His hugs are constant, and his teasing rarely fails to put a smile on people's faces.

Chris and I have never had an easy marriage, mainly due to the huge differences in our personalities and mode of communication. But I love the fact that our differences bring about such positive sharpening of the other person. Chris has opened my eyes to so many different worlds, is always looking for ways of showing me that he loves me, and is such a comfort to me in difficult times.

He is a WONDERFUL dad. And if you've ever seen him with our dear Andrew, you'll realize just what an amazing person he is. He stays at home with our kids so that Andrew has the best chance at this life, of getting the help that he needs. I may joke about Chris having a big head, but finding a man with the humility to stay at home and take care of the kids and house is a rarity, and I am lucky enough to be married to one.

We have had our deep valleys. There was a time when I was quite certain we were done. But the thing that I have grown to love most about my husband is his love for his Lord. In the darkest, deepest pit, he saw God's path for him, and with his perserverant heart climbed out of the pit to get back onto God's path. He has not turned back, and he continues to press on, even though the chains of the past frequently seek to try and hold him back. And sometimes, sadly, I am the one bringing the chains. I praise God for protecting Chris, and for giving him the strength that he has needed to continue on this road of peace.

Right now he's out on a body call...Not a booty call :)...a body call. At night, he is on call for a funeral home, and when he gets a call, he goes to houses or hospitals to pick up the body of someone who has died and takes the body to the funeral home. He does this so that he can still stay home with our kids. What an amazing man.

He has never been one to shy away from helping with diapers, he is the cook in our family, and he is the main communicator. I always laugh when people bring up the typical number of words the husband says compared to the typical number of words the wife says. Our numbers are definitely quite the opposite. He has always included me in his discussion of sports, and always lets me know as soon as something tragic, awesome, or anything in the middle has happened to one of his teams, players, or even anyone he thinks I might be interested in. I am lucky in that...he is always trying to include me in the interests of his life.

He is a closet genius. He has a goofy front that he puts out a lot, but underneath this is a man far more intelligent than myself, with a brain that can sort out an amazing range of subjects. He is one of the best spellers I've ever met, dominates at Trivial Pursuit, and can figure out most strategy games within the first few minutes of playing. He is always my competition in games, and generally beats me, although he does so graciously most of the time. His coordination is amazing, and I am always so proud of him when he plays sports, dances, or plays the piano or guitar.

I could go on and on, and the sad thing is, I rarely do. I have always been one of those people who feels that they should compliment rarely so that when one is given, it is taken for great worth. There is a little bit of good in that, but it has kept me from saying so many things that would have been so encouraging to other people, and what help is that?

This holdout has hurt my husband the most. There are SO MANY things that are wonderful about my husband, and most people have rarely heard me comment on any of them. He is an exceptional man, passionate, obviously with some faults, but overwhelmingly with so many strengths. I am blessed to call him my husband, and find myself frustrated constantly with how infrequently I am the one in the right. :) He is wise beyond his years, humble at his core being, and a truly wonderful husband and man of God.

So Lord, teach me how to steer my tongue in the direction of love, encouragement, and thanksgiving. And thank You for this wonderful man I am privileged to call my husband.