2018 Christmas/New Year's Letter

(My mom used to send out a Christmas "newsletter" detailing all of us and our list of accomplishments.  I remember one year she got back a snarky article from an anonymous source basically admonishing her for making our life out to be so great and that no one wanted to hear about it.  Not sure if that's how this will come across.  If it does, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.  I'm going to write it in the old school way, although my details are probably a little more TMI than any old school letter would have allowed.)

December 30, 2018

Merry Christmas from the Tiner Family!  We hope this letter finds you well and at peace.  If you are not, don't worry, we're living it some difficult times, but luckily have a wonderful God we can always go to in order to find strength to meet those difficult times.

This year has been a doozy, to say the least.  Again.  Every year in the Tiner house seems to be a doozy.  We didn't move this year, which is great, since we moved every year from 2012-2016.  Luke didn't live in the same house for more than a year until he was five years old.  We love our house and our pool, although the plumbing is pretty awful, as is the electrical.  I often wish my dad were alive (for a lot of reasons), but the shoddy electrical would have been taken care of a long time ago if he were.  Chris just let me know that our garbage disposal went out.  But with that, I am grateful to be able to own a home, as I know many in my circle of friends and family are unable to because of the housing markets they live in, or because of the employment circumstances they find themselves in.

Mom always started with Dad, so that's where I'll start.  Chris began his fourth year pastoring at Lake Houston Church of the Nazarene in Humble/Atascocita.  He became an elder in the Church of the Nazarene this April, something of which I am so incredibly proud of, particularly as there was a time in our marriage/life when I didn't think it would be possible.  His pastoral title at church has changed a little.  He is currently the Pastor of Youth and Worship.  He also preaches a lot (for a youth/worship pastor), and I always feel blessed when he does.

If you have given up on God's ability to change someone, remember Chris.  He is a new creation, an obedient son to his Heavenly Father, and a wonderful pastor.  He has very high standards for himself, but knows Who to lean on in order to try and meet those standards.  He is an amazing father, a wonderful husband, and I feel very lucky to be married to him.  He's gone through a physical transformation as well, and has lost about 35 pounds, runs daily, and is thoroughly attractive.   :)

Kadee Joy (who really just goes by Kadee, but I'm her mom, so I'm not changing) started high school.  HIGH SCHOOL.  She started off with a bang, too, which took the form of marching band camp.  It's Texas marching band, and it is INTENSE.  She also started off by catching the eye of a super nice and goofy sophomore, and now has a boyfriend.  We're all trying to adjust.  :)  High school has been challenging, but we're grateful that we can be open and honest with her (and her with us) about those challenges.

Andrew is a 7th grader now, and loves school.  He loves his dog Carlos 1000 times more.  Any conversation will usually segue into his love for Carlos, his worries for Carlos, his plans for Carlos, etc.  He is still super compassionate, loves his family, is very obedient, hates for others to get into trouble, and spends a good part of his time drawing comic strips.  These comic strips are strewn all over the house, and he adds multiple pages to them each day.  He's getting very tall, wears the same size shoe as me, and is beginning to make plans for his future, which include a wife, eight children, and protecting Carlos from crocodiles.

Jeffrey entered middle school as a 6th grader this year (probably the shortest one at his school) and spends much of his time correcting the bad language of those around him.  He switched to Dance halfway through the first quarter and gave his first dance recital at the beginning of this month.  He has loved dance from a young age, and made us so proud as he danced WITH his peers.  He was one of two boys in the whole recital, and he could not have cared less.  He and Andrew are in the same class and are extremely happy there.

Luke is a first grader, and around November started reading EVERYTHING.  He is a very typical boy (both the good and the bad), has a lot of friends, and bosses around his brothers when at home.  This also helps them to learn how to defend themselves (thanks, Luke).  He loves video games, playing outside, playing "battles" at recess, and dreams of joining the military.  He keeps me young and ages me at the same time.

Then there's me. My last blog left off on my mental health road, which was rocky (to say the least).  I ended up undergoing 30 treatments of transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS) which is a more intensive treatment of depression, and did wonders. I was able to taper down to a very small dose of both my anti-depressant and anti-anxiety medications.

The last day of school, I found out that the music teacher at my neighborhood school was retiring, so I applied for the job, and was thrilled to get it.  I'd never had the opportunity to teach Luke, and now I would get to, making me able to teach all of my children at some point.  I started off the school year organized and excited.

Just a week or two in, I started to have odd symptoms.  My hands were shaking all the time, I was dropping things, and I began experiencing numbness and tingling all over my body, but particularly in my extremities.  I noticed it would get worse the more I worked.   I went and saw my endocrinologist, thinking it must be thyroid related, but every level came back normal.  I'd gotten a concussion during the summer while counseling teen camp, so made an appointment with my neurologist to see if that had something to do with it.  She scheduled an MRI.  I didn't make it that far.

On September 28, I woke up completely paralyzed.  Chris had to carry me down to the van after several failed attempts on my part to walk/move.  He asked me where I wanted to go, and I said the Woodlands, since that's where my neurologist was.  After two days of blood work, tests, MRI's, CT Scans, X-Rays, a neurosurgeon came in, did a few reaction tests on me, and then let Chris and I know that he actually had answers for us.  He'd found a skull malformation called Arnold Chiari malformation, Type 1, that had caused my cerebellum to extend down into my spinal column, almost completely blocking it.  I would have to have brain surgery in the next two weeks.

The weeks leading up to brain surgery were very strange.  I couldn't walk without support, couldn't drive, couldn't work, couldn't talk well.  And all I could do was wait, while my insurance company decided whether or not to approve the surgery.  I had the surgery the week after they approved it.

Recovery from this surgery is horrific.  HORRIFIC.  The worst pain of my life.  I was in the ICU for three days, as they attempted to manage my pain, my nausea, and get me to the point where I could walk independently.  Once I was able to do that I went to a regular hospital room, where I continued to try and heal enough to get to go home.  I went home the fourth day from surgery.  Chris was with me the first two nights, and my twin sister (who'd graciously flown down from Canada to help) stayed with me the third night.  They had to endure my anti-nausea temperature regimen of keeping the room at a balmy 60 degrees.

The next three weeks were still awful.  Not pain-wise, but nausea-wise.  I've experienced a few times where eating is a problem (morning sickness for four children), but this was really, really bad.  My mom had switched with my sister, and was constantly trying to get me to eat/drink anything.  I don't know what I would have done without my husband, sister, mom, and family (including church and school families).  It was a rough, rough, road.

And then I turned a corner.  I know that I had countless people praying for me throughout.  Thank you.  Once I turned that corner, I lost a myriad of symptoms I'd been having for years.  I became myself.  Depression, suicidal ideation----totally gone.  It also restarted my pain/sleep tolerance so that I could mentally work through getting things done without giving up because of lack of sleep or too much pain.  I still have work to do in that area, so you can pray for me on that.  Brain fog is gone, and my memory is better.  At least, it's better now.  Unfortunately, I have lost many, many memories, especially from the last few years.  They're just gone.  Here's to making new ones to replace them.

I went back to work, and with the help of my team, school, husband, and students, put on my first program for new school and it was great.  As soon as school ended, my body crashed.  I think my recovery is still continuing, although it's hard to admit it sometimes. Plus I miss my extended family.  The holidays are still very hard.  I was grateful to be with my little family, and we did have a wonderful day together.  We did a Secret Santa exchange for the first time, which helped the kids harness the idea that many it is much better to give than to receive.

So here we are, at the end of 2018.  I am grateful for where we are, glad to be through what we've been through, and hopeful that, regardless of what comes our way in 2019, we will be able to meet it with the same encouragement, peace, strength, and wisdom that only comes from the One who has been with us all the way.

"The Lord bless you and keep you;
The Lord make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious unto you.
May his countenance be upon you and give you peace."

-Numbers 6:24-26

Love,

Chris, Stephanie, Kadee Joy, Andrew, Jeffrey, Luke, and Carlos Correa (the dog) Tiner